- Mood:
Sickened - Listening to: Rose Red by Emilie Autumn
WARNING ANGST JOURNAL
I just had a trip down memory lane. Specifically the three last hellish months of eighth grade, the most traumatic time of my life.
I'm done with the trip now, but I know I won't be at peace until I put this out here. Even if most of them will never read it, and if they did they most likely won't know who they are.
Keep in mind these are only about people that I knew during the end of eighth grade
1. Thanks a lot, I had thought this ended back in 6th grade. But thanks to you, a psychological problem eat away at me and stole my social life.
2. You're a douche, not everyone has been born with a godly metabolism, so don't talk down to me, as I try much harder than they do.
3. I am not a mute. Fuck you for even screwing with that, you knew I had a problem and you picked at it, and I'm pretty sure that you're the one that started the silence rumour that ran around those last few months. You don't deserve anything you have.
4. You saved my life, one day I know we will inevitably grow apart, but you will always have a special place in my heart, as the only person who saw my worth, even when I was at my worst.
5. This is a big one. I am so confused about you, am I a close friend to you or not. I've had a lot of pain because I'd feel I was always brushed off by you, yet I'm the person who's stuck by you for the longest time. I'd love to be closer to you, but wherever you go, someone more interesting must follow. Then you talk to them about something I don't even know about, and after a few attempts to jump in, I just sit, confused and wondering what I'm doing wrong.
6. You're a whore. Pick up the fork, it's disgusting. Trust me, I'm not the only one whom thinks so.
7. I never knew you well, but thank you so much for not being a jerk to me.
8. About 3 people at school tried to help me, even though all of my "friends" knew what was wrong, and that they could easily help out. I would like to thank you three for giving a damn.
9. I'm sorry. Please just understand.
10. And to no one in general, thanks to a very kind person I had introduced myself to lessons about why you kick people when they're down. What I found is quite fascinating and frighteningly true. It's helped me understand humanity, and made me realise how competitive people really are. And the fact that you people so obviously and easily input this manipulation into society towards people you don't even know is disgusting, and I wouldn't cry if any of you died. In fact, I'd probably laugh. The world doesn't need more people like you. One is already far too many.
will I ever see thee wed~
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Gauner (Gone- ER):[noun] Red Fox Girl with at least 4 screws loose. Appointed by her family as the bringer of strange things. She, however, thinks it is them who are strange.
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"...No relation of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is the very essence of dreams..."
~Joseph Conrad
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.....in America
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Hay quienes les gustan las nuevas tendencias; yo prefiero las viejas corrientes.
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"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." - Mark Twain
[link]
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i'm rather dumb in my mind you should be glad you don't know me
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